Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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