He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
