She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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