I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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