Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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