so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
