well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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