Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
