Sponge bath it is.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
