I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
