yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
