I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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