Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
zippers are such a cool invention
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
