she kept yelling 'call me bella'
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
