were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
