my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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