Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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