But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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