Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
