no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
