So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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