you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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