He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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