it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Randomize
