I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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