It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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