I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
