is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
