you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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