problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
