First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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