Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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