Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
