i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I need to sanitize my soul.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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