im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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