You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Randomize
