Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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