i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
