dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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