I cut my penus on the lid.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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