I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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