I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
