This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
