help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
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