On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
