Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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