she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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