I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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