Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
You made out with two different species that night
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
