Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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