Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
