dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
