all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
